Of course, anything involving sex, celebrities and crime scores well on all papers. But most days, you can see a pattern where Sydney readers care more about sensationalist superficial stuff than Melbourne readers, and Brisbane readers invariably love reading about sex. (The WAtoday was added too recently for me to form accurate prejudices.) But today’s excerpt was particularly revealing:

THE toll from yesterday’s horrific Burnley Tunnel crash and inferno could rise above the three people confirmed dead, authorities have warned.

Police are seeking surveillance footage of the accident, which began in the tunnel just before 10am. They said it was not yet known how many people had been travelling in the cars destroyed in the carnage.

The tunnel could remain closed until Monday as investigators examine the scene and engineers assess it for structural damage, police said.

Explosions rocked the tunnel, motorists told of a huge wall of flames and temperatures soared above 1000 degrees. Police Assistant Commissioner Noel Ashby said some of the crash vehicles had turned into “balls of molten metal”. Investigators had still not identified the make of some of the cars.

In particular, I am driven to comment on CityLink’s response to the accident:

A motorist trapped in the tunnel, barrister Anthony Southall, QC, said the rescue effort was inadequate for those first frightening minutes when motorists were trying to walk out of the 3.4-kilometre tunnel unaided.

“There were no CityLink staff to direct us. In fact, there was a disabled lady in the car behind us and she needed some assistance.”

So what was CityLink doing?

CityLink spokeswoman Jean Ker Walsh said the initial accident had occurred very quickly, before a CityLink recovery vehicle could respond.

“We do know that immediately our lane closure system was activated. Regrettably, before an accident response team could get there, the incident occurred.”

“There are very strong practices to shut down a particular lane where necessary … it happened so instantaneously, emergency practices were just starting to occur when the second and third crashes occurred.”

Now, I don’t know if road engineers use the same buzzwords, but in the field of software engineering we make a distinction between ‘verification’ and ‘validation’ as types of testing. Verification testing checks that some process occurred as specified. Seems the “lane closure system” passed this test. Validation checks whether the process had the desired effect. Obviously this is the more difficult type of testing. And we also see that the “lane closure system” did not have the desired effect. So perhaps it would be more helpful to say “hmm, looks like we need better crash response procedures” than to say “well, our crash response procedures operated as designed, whoopeedoo!”.

He urged motorists to put the tragedy into perspective. “The tunnel’s been around a long time,” he said.

This one really gets me. A long time? Puh-leeze… the tunnel was opened in December 2000 – it’s just over 6 years old. CityLink have a contract with the government to operate the tunnel for 30 years [33 years and 6 months, in fact]- so the tunnel has just passed one fifth of its expected operating time. Tunnels that have been around a long time are:

• Kurikoyama tunnel, Japan (constructed 1880)
• Glenbrook railway tunnel, the Blue Mountains (constructed 1891-1892)
• Der Alte Elbtunnel, Hamburg, Germany (constructed 1907-1911).

I’d even give the honour to the San Bernardino Tunnel in Switzerland, constructed 1967. But 6 years?

At least they have some compassion:

CityLink also announced today that tolls would be waived for affected motorists yesterday.

If you don’t already get it, then it wouldn’t be funny, even if I explained it. Sorry.

Four plays and four days to go.

William Shakespeare: Macbeth

by Mary Holtby

This is the life of Mac the Knife
whose fate was foretold by witches:
They said he’d be King, so he and his wife
worked out the possible hitches.
When good King Dunc in sleep was sunc,
they thrust him through with a dagger,
And although poor Mac was blue with funk
he carried it off with a swagger.
The King was dead, the princes fled,
and the kingdom Mac’s for the taking,
But Banq’s for the chop since the witches said
his sons were kings in the making.
The thugs are slow off the mark, and so
they half-complete their mission,
But enough to make Mac’s party go
when he sees Banq’s apparition;
This bloodstained ghost upsets the host
but makes him even keener
To put his enemies on toast,
and take them to the cleaner.
The witches bluff him with some stuff
which is truthful yet deceiving;
His target is now the tough Macduff,
who’s off to England, leaving
his wife and chicks to cross the Styx,
fit tidings to incite him
To end the tyrant’s testy tricks,
so he joins the prince to fight him.
Meanwhile the Knife observes his wife
parade, out-out-damn-spotting –
Curses the shadow-play of life,
such pointless parts allotting.
Now branches hood his foes — not good
for Mac, who, white as linen
Recalls what’s said of Birnam Wood
advancing to Dunsinane.
Still he won’t run — no woman’s son
slays this predestinarian…
Macduff explains he isn’t one
(a posthumous Caesarian);
His sword goes smack through poor old Mac –
alas for realm and riches!
It’s better to endure their lack
than put your trust in witches.

Henry VI, Part II – check.
Henry VI, Part III – check.
Henry VI, Part I – check.
Richard III – check.
Comedy of Errors – check.
Titus Andronicus – check.
Taming of the Shrew – check.
Two Gentlemen of Verona – check.
Love’s Labour’s Lost – check.

Dead ahead: Romeo and Juliet. Hooray! The first play thus far that I have previously read. There are a few more of those coming up in the next week or so.

If you have lots of spare change, have a look at this: http://www.bbcshop.com/invt/ebbcdvd1767. Quote:

The BBC Shakespeare is a unique collection of some of the finest dramas in the English language, each production a celebration of the greatest talents in contemporary British Theatre and Television. These plays feature the cream of the 20th Century’s acting talent. Some of the great actors featured in these plays include:

Laurence Olivier, Brenda Blethyn, Colin Blakely, Leo McKern, John Gielgud, Jonathan Pryce, Michael Hordern, Felicity Kendall, Cyril Cusack, Anthony Andrews, Diana Rigg, John Hurt, Bernard Hill, John Cleese, Trevor Peacock, William Hurt, John Fortune, Robert Lindsay, John Bird, Julia Foster, Annette Crosbie, Zoe Wanamaker, Mark Wing-Davey… The list goes ever on. Suffice to say, the finest productions of the Bard’s work extant. :

This 38 disc box set includes the following BBC Shakespeare Adaptations:

1. Romeo And Juliet – Directed by Alvin Rakoff (1978)
2. Richard II – Directed by Jane Howell (1983)
3. As You Like It – Directed by Basil Coleman (1978)
4. Julius Caesar – Directed by Herbert Wise (1979)
5. Measure For Measure – Directed by Desmond Davis (1979)
6. Henry VIII – Directed Kevin Billington (1979)
7. Henry IV: Parts I & II – Directed by David Giles (1979)
8. Henry V: Parts I & II – Directed by David Giles (1979)
9. Twelfth Night – Directed by John Gorrie (1980)
10. The Tempest – Directed by John Gorrie (1980)
11. The Taming Of The Shrew – Directed by Jonathan Miller (1980)
12. The Merchant Of Venice – Directed by Jack Gold (1980)
13. All’s Well That Ends Well – Directed by Elijah Moshinsky (1981)
14. The Winter’s Tale – Directed by Jane Howell (1981)
15. Timon Of Athens – Directed by Jonathan Miller (1981)
16. Antony And Cleopatra – Directed by Jonathan Miller (1981)
17. Othello – Directed by Jonathan Miller (1981)
18. Troilus And Cressada – Directed by Jonathan Miller (1981)
19. The Merry Wives of Windsor – Directed by David Hugh Jones (1982)
20. Henry VI: Parts I, II & III – Directed by Jane Howell (1983)
21. The Tragedy Of Richard III – Directed by Jane Howell (1983)
22. Cymbeline – Directed by Elijah Moshinsky (1982)
23. The Comedy Of Errors – Directed by James Cellan Jones (1983)
24. Two Gentlemen Of Verona – Directed by Don Taylor (1983)
25. Coriolanus – Directed by Elijah Moshinsky (1984)
26. The Life And Death Of King John – Directed by David Giles (1984)
27. Pericles: Prince Of Tyre – Directed by David Hugh Jones (1984)
28. Much Ado About Nothing – Directed by Stuart Burge (1984)
29. Love’s Labour’s Lost – Directed by Elijah Moshinsky (1985)
30. Titus Andronicus – Directed by Jane Howell (1985)
31. Hamlet – Directed by Rodney Bennett (1980)
32. King Lear – Directed by Jonathan Miller (1982)
33. Macbeth – Directed by Jack Gold (1983)
34. A Midsummer Night’s Dream – Directed by Elijah Moshinsky (1981)