Secure Custody Services
Secure Custody Services are commonly known as safety deposit boxes. Today, I was looking for a safety deposit box. Don’t ask why. No idea where to look, so I went into the city and started walking into banks asking if they had that.
“No, but you can try our Box Hill branch, they have some.”
“No, don’t know where you can get some.”
“Last time I went overseas, I went to 99 William St, it’s not a bank just a safety deposit box thingummy-whatsit.”
99 William St is the National Bank. And they don’t have safety deposit boxes.
“No, we don’t, but try our Head Office at 288 Collins St.”
Okay, toddle toddle toddle, 288 Collins St.
“Our Secure Custody Services department is in the basement, catch the lift over there.”
This is more like it! Down to the basement I go, to find a couple of gruff security people behind a desk behind huge steel bars. “Do you have an account with the bank?” No. “Well, you need an account.” Ah.
Well, where do I have an account? Let’s go to the Commonwealth!
Toddle toddle toddle, corner Elizabeth and Bourke Streets.
“Our Secure Custody Services department is in the basement.” (deja vu…) “You’ll need to go up one flight of stairs…” (up!?) “… then catch the lift down to the basement.” (ah.)
Up the stairs, down the lift, looky here, another desk, more humongous steel bars, more security personell. “The smallest size is $95 per year, plus a $60 account setup fee.” how do I access it? “you have a key, and you need ID.” OK. Can someone else access it? “only if you’ve added them, they need to be here and they need 100 points of ID.” well, for various reasons that wasn’t realistic for my purpose, so I left again.
After visiting the secure, barred basements of the Bank of Melbourne and discovering that ANZ was all full up and had a one year waiting list, ditto HSBC (thus saving me the trip to Box Hill), I heard this story from all of them. You need an account, and only you and the people you have personally introduced to the bank manager can access it. Now there’s security for you.
Unfortunately I still don’t have a safety deposit box.
But I haven’t had so much fun in years.
